I’M EXHAUSTED TRYING TO “FIGURE IT ALL OUT” — THIS LIFE AND MAKING MEANING FROM EVERYTHING. SOMETIMES I FEEL UTTERLY ALONE WHEN SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE.

THIS IS A SERIES OF SIGNS DEVELOPING WHILE I’M IN THE ABSOLUTE SHITS OF THERAPY TREATMENT, RE-PROCESSING OLD TRAUMA AND GETTING A FKNG HOLD OF MY SELF, WHILE ALSO SOMEHOW LETTING GO…? HA.

MAKING WEIRD ART IS A WAY FOR ME TO BE VULNERABLE, USE SARCASM TO MOCK THE ABSURDITY OF SOCIETAL SYSTEMS, AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE CONNECT WITH LIKE-MINDED SOULS WHO GET IT. OR DON’T GET IT. OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT WE’RE DOING HERE, TOGETHER. I HOPE THAT BEING A BETTER ME MAKES THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE; LESS SUFFERING, MORE LOVE + GENEROSITY. I SEE A RIPPLE EFFECT RADIATING AROUND EACH ONE OF US.

PRACTICING NOTICING AND RADICAL HONESTY IS HUMBLING AND BRUTAL, AND BREATH IS THE ROCK THAT I CLING TO.

TBH THE SIGNS REVEAL SHAME, FEAR, DISGUST AND A LOT OF WOUNDS THAT HAVE SCABBED OVER. IT FEELS RAW.

HARMFUL PATTERNS, CRUEL VOICES IN MY HEAD…NONE OF IT BELONGS TO ME. I CREATED A LOT OF COPING BEHAVIORS TO SURVIVE AND TO STAY SAFE, AND LIKE ‘LITTLE SHOES’, IT’S TIME TO OUTGROW THEM. I HAVE APOLOGIES TO MAKE, AND FORGIVENESS TO EXTEND. I BELIEVE THAT SENSITIVITY IS A STRENGTH, NOT A WEAKNESS.

SO THESE SIGNS ARE ONE OF SEVERAL SOCIAL-ART EXPERIMENTS.

THE RESPONSES I’VE RECEIVED ARE SO PRECIOUS, AND YET THERE’S STILL THAT CRUEL VOICE THAT TELLS ME THIS IS ALL NONSENSE, A USELESS WASTE OF TIME FOR A LOSER….

SO YEA, THANKS FOR STAYING CURIOUS AND FOR BEING YOU. THERE’S ONLY ONE OF YA.